What to do if you can't see your children (Ireland)

If you're having trouble seeing your children, there are people who can help you work through this. One Family runs the askonefamily helpline and offers separation courses and counselling, they're there to support you through what can be a really difficult time. You might also consider family mediation through an accredited mediator (the Mediators' Institute of Ireland can help you find one), which can be a calmer way to sort out arrangements with the other parent. If there are legal questions about access or guardianship, the Courts Service of Ireland has information on family law processes you can look at, or you can speak to a solicitor. If safety is a concern, for you or your children, Women's Aid Ireland offers confidential support on 1800 341 900.

Irish law uses three separate ideas: guardianship, which is your say in the big decisions; custody, which is day to day care; and access, which is time and contact. They are decided separately, so a father who is not a guardian can still apply for access, and losing one does not mean losing the others. Most applications are made locally, in the District Court, and you can bring one yourself.

• Access is the legal right of a child and an adult to have contact with one another when they no longer live together, and most applications for guardianship, custody and access are made in the District Court (citizensinformation.ie).
• An unmarried father can apply for access whether or not he is a guardian and whether or not he is named on the birth certificate; you can represent yourself, and the Family Mediation Service is free (citizensinformation.ie).
• An unmarried father becomes an automatic joint guardian if he has lived with the child's mother for 12 consecutive months, including at least 3 months with the mother and child following the child's birth; if she agrees, both parents can instead sign a statutory declaration before a Peace Commissioner, Commissioner for Oaths, Notary Public or civil registration registrar (citizensinformation.ie).
• The welfare of the child is the most important factor; the courts consider it very important for a child's welfare to have a relationship with both parents, and where age appropriate the voice of the child can be taken into consideration (citizensinformation.ie).
• Many parents assume the mother's consent is the deciding factor in a guardianship application; it is not, and a court will not refuse a father joint guardianship simply because the mother does not consent (citizensinformation.ie).

Checked August 2026 against citizensinformation.ie.

Whatever you decide, the child's welfare comes first. Most families never need a courtroom to agree how things will work.

• You can agree arrangements yourselves in a parenting plan, or with the help of mediation.
• Courts are usually a last resort, and generally support children keeping a relationship with both parents unless there are safety concerns.
• Put what you agree in writing so everyone knows what to expect.
• ParenThing can hold the schedule and track any changes.