Sorting out child arrangements in England & Wales

When parents separate in England, there's lots of support to help you work out what's best for your children. You can start by having a look at the Gov.uk guidance on child arrangements if you separate, which explains your options in plain language. If you'd like help talking things through with your ex-partner, Relate offers counselling for separating couples and co-parents that can make these conversations easier.

For straightforward information about your rights and what the process involves, Advicenow has practical guides written in plain English. If you get stuck or need advice about going to court, Cafcass is there to advise the family courts about what's best for children, and Both Parents Matter offers support and information on shared parenting for both mums and dads. If your children are struggling with the separation, Childline is free and confidential on 0800 1111.

In England and Wales the old words custody and access have been replaced. What matters now is a child arrangements order, and the courts expect you to try agreement and mediation before anyone issues an application. Most parents never need a judge at all; for those who do, there is a clear path, and the child's welfare sits at the centre of every decision.

• A child arrangements order sets out where your child lives, who they spend time with and whether other contact such as phone calls takes place (gov.uk).
• Before applying you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM; exemptions apply, for example where there is evidence of domestic abuse or the application is urgent (gov.uk).
• After an application, Cafcass, or Cafcass Cymru in Wales, sends you information before the first hearing, and a family court adviser is usually there; the court checks whether your child is at risk in any way (gov.uk).
• The court weighs your child's wishes and feelings, their physical, emotional and educational needs and any possible risk of harm, and a judge or magistrate will only make an order if they think it is in the child's best interests (gov.uk).
• Many parents do not realise that if you both agree, you do not need a court order at all; you can ask the court to turn your agreement into a legally binding consent order (gov.uk).

Checked August 2026 against gov.uk.

Whatever you decide, the child's welfare comes first. Most families never need a courtroom to agree how things will work.

• You can agree arrangements yourselves in a parenting plan, or with the help of mediation.
• Courts are usually a last resort, and generally support children keeping a relationship with both parents unless there are safety concerns.
• Put what you agree in writing so everyone knows what to expect.
• ParenThing can hold the schedule and track any changes.